Along with distribution of labor, intimacy, and parenting style, money is one of the most frequent argument triggers for couples. With that said, finances do not have to be the Achilles heel of your relationship.

With a focus on communication and compromise, you can reduce the amount of time you spend quarrelling over money and invest that energy into strengthening your bond. Keep reading for my top six tips on how to quit arguing over money and begin to work as a team.

Open a Joint Checking Account

This is the first and (arguably) most important step in coming together around finances. You can’t work as a team if you’re both going at it alone. Sharing a checking account will force you and your partner to communicate about money and work as a team. It’s nearly impossible to come together as one if you can’t learn to share everything. And a checking account is one of the core building blocks for financial well-being in a relationship. This can be tricky if you are working on a tight budget but it’s a great exercise in togetherness.

Work as a Team

Keep in mind that successfully navigating your finances will require teamwork and ample communication. Talk about big purchases with your partner before making them. What qualifies as ‘big’ will vary from one couple to another, so consider setting a dollar figure that you won’t spend without involving your partner.

Checking in beforehand eliminates the possibility of an argument after the fact. This ensures that neither party feels blindsided or like they weren’t consulted.

Along with distribution of labor, intimacy, and parenting style, money is one of the most frequent argument triggers for couples. With that said, finances do not have to be the Achilles heel of your relationship. With a focus on communication and compromise, you can reduce the amount of time you spend quarrelling over money and invest that energy into strengthening your bond. Keep reading for my top six tips on how to quit arguing over money and begin to work as a team.

Open a Joint Checking Account

This is the first and (arguably) most important step in coming together around finances. You can’t work as a team if you’re both going at it alone. Sharing a checking account will force you and your partner to communicate about money and work as a team. It’s nearly impossible to come together as one if you can’t learn to share everything. And a checking account is one of the core building blocks for financial well-being in a relationship. This can be tricky if you are working on a tight budget but it’s a great exercise in togetherness.

Work as a Team

Keep in mind that successfully navigating your finances will require teamwork and ample communication. Talk about big purchases with your partner before making them. What qualifies as ‘big’ will vary from one couple to another, so consider setting a dollar figure that you won’t spend without involving your partner.  

Checking in beforehand eliminates the possibility of an argument after the fact. This ensures that neither party feels blindsided or like they weren’t consulted.

Ensure Sure You Can Both Live Work the Budget You Create

You and your partner should both be involved in the creation of your budget. You should both feel like it’s something to which you can adhere. If you don’t already have a budget established, be patient. Don’t expect to nail it in month one. These things take time and effort to get right. But as long as you are working towards a shared goal and improving month over month, you’re on the right track. And before you know it, you will regularly be coming in on budget at the end of the month.

Hold One Another Accountable in a Positive Way

It’s inevitable that you or your partner will deviate from your financial goals at some point. But don’t use that as the basis for an argument. Use it as a chance to communicate and find out what is causing the lack of adherence to your budget. Perhaps your financial plan needs to be reevaluated or maybe you need to recalibrate around your shared goals. Either way, avoid lobbing accusations and try to think of conversations about money as a way to come closer together around a shared set of values instead of a jumping off point for an argument.